Author List: #IHadAMiscarriage Book Recs + Resources
In I HAD A MISCARRIAGE, author Jessica Zucker weaves her own experience and other people’s stories into a compassionate and compelling exploration of grief as a necessary, nuanced personal and communal process. She inspires her readers to speak their truth and, in turn, to ignite transformative change within themselves and in our culture.
In celebration of the publication of her incredible book, we asked Zucker to curate a list of must-read pregnancy loss resources. Whether you’ve experienced miscarriage yourself, are supporting someone who has, or are trying to be a better ally to the loss community, we highly recommend the following:
What God Is Honored Here?
Edited by Shannon Gibney and Kao Kalia Yang (University of Minnesota Press)
From the publisher: What God Is Honored Here? is the first book of its kind—and urgently necessary. This is a literary collection of voices of Indigenous women and women of color who have undergone miscarriage and infant loss, experiences that disproportionately affect women who have often been cast toward the margins in the United States of America.
About What Was Lost
Edited by Jessica Berger Gross (Plume)
From the publisher: Today, as many as one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage. And yet, many women are surprised to find that instead of simply grieving the end of a pregnancy, they feel as if they are mourning the loss of a child. Taken aback by their sorrow, they seek solace in similar perspectives—only to find that a silence and lingering stigma surrounds the topic. Revealing a wide spectrum of experiences and perspectives, this powerful collection offers comfort and community for the millions of women (and their loved ones) who experience this all-too-common kind of loss every year.
The Rules Do Not Apply
by Ariel Levy (Random House)
From the publisher: All her life, Ariel Levy was told that she was too fervent, too forceful, too much. As a young woman, she decided that becoming a writer would perfectly channel her strength and desire. She would be a professional explorer—“the kind of woman who is free to do whatever she chooses.” Levy moved to Manhattan to pursue her dream, and spent years of adventure, traveling all over the world writing stories about unconventional heroines, following their fearless examples in her own life.
But when she experiences unthinkable heartbreak, Levy is forced to surrender her illusion of control. In telling her story, Levy has captured a portrait of our time, of the shifting forces in American culture, of what has changed and what has remained. And of how to begin again.
The Still Point of the Turning World
by Emily Rapp (Penguin)
From the publisher: What does it mean to be a success? To be a good parent? To live a meaningful life? Emily Rapp thought she knew the answers when she was pregnant with her first child. But everything changed when nine-month-old Ronan was diagnosed with Tay-Sachs disease, a rare and always-fatal degenerative disorder. He was not expected to live beyond the age of three. Rapp and her husband were forced to reevaluate everything they thought they knew about parenting and to learn to parent without a future.
Even before the book’s publication, Rapp set the Internet ablaze with her New York Times op-ed piece about parenting a terminally ill child. An immediate bestseller, The Still Point of the Turning World is Rapp’s memorial to her lost son and an inspiring and exquisitely moving reminder to love and live in the moment.
At a Loss
by Donna Rothert (Open Air Books)
From the publisher: If you've experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, termination of pregnancy due to health risk or abnormality, or death in the first year of your baby’s life, you’re not alone. Life after these losses can be heartbreaking, confusing, and lonely. Family, friends, and medical professionals may minimize your loss or say “You can always try again.”
Written by a psychologist who experienced two pregnancy losses herself, At a Loss offers thirty essays on the thoughts, feelings, and struggles that come along with losing a pregnancy or baby. Whether you are early in a crisis of grief or exploring the loss years afterward, you will find self-compassion, healing, and new ways to make meaning of your loss.
I Love You Still
by Margaret Scofield (Self-published)
From the author: I Love You Still: A Memorial Baby Book is a baby memory book specifically made for the events and emotions that follow a miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal loss. I Love You Still combines aspects of traditional baby books with areas for memorialization to preserve the memory of a baby lost in the womb, during, or shortly after birth. The book can be completed at whatever time feels right for mom, and can be revisited for months or even years to come.
Not Broken
by Lora Shahine (Self-published)
From the author: Not Broken is a comprehensive, evidence-based but easy-to-read guide for anyone who wants to understand all aspects of miscarriage and recurrent pregnancy loss. Whether you are a patient struggling with miscarriages or a medical provider caring for patients with recurrent pregnancy loss, you will learn something from this resource. Dr. Shahine explains not only a typical Western medicine approach to evaluation and treatment for miscarriage but also includes Eastern approaches to care, lifestyle factors that will decrease your risk of miscarriage, and the emotional impact of recurrent pregnancy loss. You will finish this book feeling more empowered to be an advocate for your care and more hopeful than ever to continue toward your family goals.
The Miscarriage Map
by Dr. Sunita Osborn and Catherine Knepper (Self-published)
From the authors: Miscarriage—it can devastate an individual, a couple, and family to their very core. And yet, this painfully common human experience is so rarely talked about. How do we continue functioning? How do we tell our partner what we need? How do we deal with emotional dumpster fire that is the aftermath of a miscarriage? How do we not kill the fifth person who tells us “You can always have another baby.”
With unflinching honesty and fearless humor, psychologist Dr. Sunita Osborn addresses the relevant but often unspoken topics following a miscarriage including the impact of miscarriage on a relationship, hating pregnant people and all things baby after miscarriage, your relationship with your body after miscarriage, and how to move forward (not past).
Informed by her clinical expertise and her own personal experience with miscarriage, The Miscarriage Map offers women, their partners, and loved ones with the nitty gritty realities of a miscarriage, the accompanying emotional roller coaster, and specific steps to take to help them get through this loss.
(Mis)carriage
by Regan Parker (Saltwater Coast Publishing)
From the publisher: (Mis)carriage is one woman’s honest, intimate journey through the loss of her child after eight weeks of pregnancy. Her candid account of loss, grief, and new beginnings shines as comforting proof that hope awaits in the aftermath, and that the loss of her baby matters.
Although an estimated one in four women experiences a miscarriage, there is a stark absence of resources available to these women and their families. Regan Parker’s personal yet universal story of love, life, and loss boldly explores the complexities of grief, while calling plaintively for the resources that would help others cope with the pain of losing a child.
Miscarriage Mom
by Kristy Parisi (Authorhouse)
From the publisher: Miscarriage Mom is a must read for anyone who has lost a child through miscarriage. Having experienced six miscarriages, author Kristy Parisi understands the pain and grief of losing an unborn child. Packed with compelling personal stories and actionable advice, Miscarriage Mom offers heartfelt insight into the unforeseen realities surrounding miscarriage and suggests ways to cope. Miscarriage Mom openly addresses the emotions, reactions, and experiences to be expected after a miscarriage. Honoring your unborn baby, returning to work, and dealing with others’ reactions are just a few of the many topics addressed. With a genuine desire to help, Kristy wrote Miscarriage Mom for any woman who has suffered the pain and devastation of miscarriage. Including a special man-to-man talk written by Kristy’s husband, Vincent, Miscarriage Mom gives readers a clear look into what to expect now that you’re not expecting.
I Had a Miscarriage
By Jessica Zucker (Feminist Press)
From the publisher: Drawing from her psychological expertise and her work as the creator of the #IHadaMiscarriage campaign, I Had a Miscarriage is a heart-wrenching, thought-provoking, and validating book about navigating these liminal spaces and the vitality of truth telling—an urgent reminder of the power of speaking openly and unapologetically about the complexities of our lives.
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About Jessica Zucker:
Photo: Bonnie Tsang
Jessica Zucker is a Los Angeles–based psychologist specializing in reproductive and maternal mental health. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Guardian, NBC News, New York Magazine, Vanity Fair, Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Marie Claire, Glamour, InStyle, BuzzFeed, ELLE, SELF, TIME, and VICE, among others, and she has been featured on Good Morning America, the Today show, CNN, and NPR. Jessica is the creator of the #IHadaMiscarriage campaign, a multiplatform effort. Dr. Zucker earned advanced degrees from New York University and Harvard University.